WIFW: What I Fasted Wednesday

L'Shanah Tovah, everyone!

Today was Yom Kippur, the biggest and most important holiday on the Jewish calendar. I took a personal day, and made the journey home to celebrate with my family at my home synagogue. 

The purpose of the holiday is to reflect on the past year, repent for sins, and to ask for forgiveness and for a good new year. In addition, we are expected to fast from sundown to sundown, and concept that still makes me a bit too anxious and nervous. But, more on that later.

Today, I spent about 8 hours in services, praying and reflecting. I thought a lot about this past year and all the changes it has brought.

I made lots of mistakes.

I made lots of self-discoveries.

I had lots of sins to repent for.

And, repent I did.

The thing that I love most about Yom Kippur is ending it with a feeling of a new fresh start. An opportunity to start again, free of guilt from the mistakes of last year. A chance to do things anew. Not necessarily to do things over again, but to re-try doing things right.

As I sat there reflecting, I decided that my goal and focus for the year is going to be love. In my life, I have felt the most presence of God (or whatever you want to call a higher spiritual power) in the strong, unconditional relationships that I have experienced, witnessed, and encountered in my life.

My intent for the upcoming year is to treat every person in my life with upmost love and respect, including my family, students, and people I may meet throughout the year.

The first step, though, is starting with myself. I have felt lately like I am out of touch with myself, both physically and emotionally. When it comes down to food and exercise, everything feels out of balance. I'm either famished or bloated. No in between. I almost feel like I have forgotten how to feed myself. I have this idea in my head about what my body needs, but the way my body feels tells me it's not right anymore. I have put on some puffy weight that I am not liking. As a result, I am emotionally suffering too. I know that I am transitioning. Figuring out my new work schedule and all that. But I hate the way I feel. I hate the way my clothes are fitting. I hate the way I look right now. 

It's wearing on me.

So, starting fresh with this New Year, I am going to make a real effort to listen to what my body is telling me I need. And figure out what works for me again.

That started today. Yes, we are supposed to fast for 24 hours. But, I woke up this morning already hungry. So I ate breakfast. Then, I ate lunch. Yes, I did not keep the fast. Call me a "bad Jew" but I don't feel bad about it.

I didn't snap any pictures, but I'm sure you know what oatmeal and a salad looks like. The most important "Good Habit" that I am falling into? Listening to what my body needs and answering it.

Thanks Jenn!

So, L'Shanah Tovah! Happy New Year, and here's to a fresh, loving start!
~ Rach

Coming Back to Earth

Well hello there, stranger!

It's been far too long since I sat down and wrote out a post. Honestly, in the past 10-or-so days, I have hardly had time to shower, let alone reflect on the day. I hit the ground running in my student teaching on Monday, and I have been whirlwind busy all week! This weekend, when I gave myself a day off from everything, was the first time it felt like my feet have touched the ground all week!

I have to say, I am loving it!

Here are some highlights:

1) A weekend home for Seder and some good family time. I'm happy to report that it was almost anxiety free, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I was sad to come back, but excited too because I started taking over classes on Monday.

Our Seder Plate

Deeeelicious Vegan Matzo Ball soup that Mom made specially for me. Even the carnivores were impressed!

Dates for the evening, Bro and Maddy on the left and me and their friend Chris on the right.

Date night with Mom

The baby and entertainment of every family get together, Bro's puppy, Jolene

2. Started taking over classes in Student Teaching! This is, by far the most exciting part of this last week. It has been so satisfying and fulfilling and energizing and encouraging... can you tell I'm happy about it?!

Yes, I am crazy busy, and with my 4 preps, I have very little free time, but I feel like I am thriving. I am even more convinced now that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. 

So far, I have been able to keep a healthy balance and found enough time to maintain eating in the way that makes me feel my best and work out on days that allowed for it. My hyper-organization and time management have been a god send, and I know that if I keep on top of things, I will be able to keep this momentum going.

Next week, I am picking up another prep, and although I was feeling overwhelmed earlier in the experience, I am ready to take it head on!

My GIANT "teacher bag" and million texts for my classes. Organization is the key to my sanity.

I've even had some time this weekend for some time out with good friends, and a lazy movie night!

Here's to conquering next week!

~ Rach

Home for Passover

Well, my second Spring Break is almost over! So sad! Monday morning it will be back to 5:30 am wake-up calls, hour-long commutes, and my first week doing some real teaching.

But first, I get to head back to Cincinnati for my all-time favorite holiday of the year, Passover!

Even when I was a little kid, I liked this one better than any other (even Chanukah, where we actually got presents). I think it is because it is so full of ritual and tradition and, of course, the seder meal. Probably th best mea my mom cooks and the best party she throws all year.

Last year, the seder fell during the middle of the week, so I had to miss the family affair. I tried to put one together for my friends here at school, but in my puny apartment, it couldn't hold a candle to Mom's.

Yep, the whole thing in the living room, on coffee tables. I sat on the floor. The matzo balls were like rocks. Needless to say, I am beyond excited to head home for the good stuff!

Along with the excitement, though, is a little quite a bit of anxiety. I will be home for almost 4 days, and I know that no workout of any kind will be happening. Also, the traditional food doesn't really fit with the kind of eating that makes me feel my best (or that I feel comfortable putting in my body).  I wish I didn't have these kinds of thoughts lingering in the back of my mind, but it seems to be something that I just can't shake. Worry and guilt always find their way into my thoughts.

But, I am going to make it my goal for this weekend to not listen to them. I am going to be in the moment, happy with my family, and enjoying all of the tradition and love that went into the seder meal. It's about time I started to learn how to quiet those damn voices in there.

So, here's to family, love, and living in the moment.
~ Rach