Out of the Ordinary

Last night, I did something that just a month-or-so ago, I would never have done. Whoa, now! Calm down. This is a positive thing.

Last night, I went to the first of seven Modern Dance classes that I signed up for at my school's rec center. No, this isn't the big news, although it is exciting.

I signed up for, paid for, walked to, and participated fully in this dance class completely alone. I knew the instructor, but didn't know anyone else taking it, what kind of content would be taught, or even what to wear. But, I did it anyways. And, it was awesome!

Rewind about 10 years to where this all starts. All through grade school and high school. I was a dancer. I was on a competitive dance team from age 10-18, and it was my life. Out side of high school, I danced. That was it.

Proof. This was my team during my senior year, the year that I was captain. I'm back row, left. Definitely have changed physically since then.

When I got to college, I pretty much stopped dancing except for participating in the tap dance club here on campus for a few quarters. Needless to say, I am out of practice, and starting this class last night, I wasn't sure where my skills, flexibility, stamina, or strength lied. Add onto that the fact that I had no friends in the class to fall back on or ease any awkwardness that I felt.

A month or two ago, I would say I was at the most self-conscious I have ever been in my life. Which seems pretty silly since I was thinner and more active than ever. At least for me, though, being in the middle of some serious issues with food and having recently gone through the worst heart break I could imagine, my self-confidence was the first thing to go. And, it disappeared  almost completely.

I am so happy to say that I am proud of myself for going through with this class. I stepped back into something I love whole-heartedly. Even if it was a little nerve wracking. I'll admit, I had some butterflies. But, more than that, I was excited to step out of the familiar and take a risk by trying something on my own.

This is even more evidence as to how far I have come in such a short time. It seems that little accomplishments like this are revealing themselves to me all the time, especially when I am least expecting it. I can't wait to get back into that class next Sunday. Bring it on!