Saturday, March 24, 2012

Back to Reality

Well, Senior-year Spring Break has come to a close. I have done the 10 hour car ride to Hilton Head, lived it up for 8 amazing days, and just got home after the 10 hours back to Athens. 

By some miracle, this trip went amazingly smoothly. With 10 kids, all with strong personalities, all packed into the same house, we were all able to work together, compromise, and basically keep everyone happy. It was a blast!

As with all group trips, there were some minor bumps in the road, but we moved past them. It ended up being a fantastic time, and I am so happy to say that I have grown closer to some already great friends!

Cue the recap! We'll start with the highlights:

Maj-oh beach time!
I'm not generally a beach lover (too much mess for me), but I really enjoyed hanging out with all my friends. I got some good tan time, and I even braved the water... for a few minutes.

 Great Food!
Among other places, we went to the Salty Dog Cafe where I had the best meal of the trip. I'll do an entirely food-dedicated post later.

Hunger Games!
The four of us who had read the books went to the midnight showing. I'm not going to lie, I didn't love the movie, but it was a great time.

Along with the highlights, there are always low points

For me personally, it wasn't even about the little bouts of drama that came up. I can easily let that stuff roll off my shoulders and get over it. My biggest struggle was the lack of control I felt the whole week. I was out of my normal environment and schedule, eating differently than I like to, and not exercising. I tried really hard to not let my disordered thoughts take over too much. I wanted to really enjoy this trip since I knew it would be one of the last times all of my friends would have the opportunity to do this together.

But, the disordered thoughts were there to rear their ugly heads. There were definitely times where I was disappointed in myself for my lack of self-control and all of the over indulgence. Believe me, there was a lot of indulgence. From food to booze. My confidence in my bathing suit was on a steady decline throughout the whole trip, and this morning when I woke up, I hated the way I looked in the mirror. I definitely gained a few lbs this week. I know it's not just in my head this time because my jean shorts don't really fit me after this week, and with the bloating and digestive issues I have been dealing with all day, my body is obviously unhappy with me.

I also know that just one week of being back on my regular work out schedule, staying away from the alcohol, and eating clean, I'll be back to where I was. I am trying to focus on that, and not think about punishing myself for this week of craziness.

It's incredibly hard, though. I really am disappointed in myself for allowing myself to do all of this (I know I shouldn't be, but I just can't really seem to help that.). At the same time, too, I am envious of my girlfriends who seem to be able to eat whatever, run around in their bikinis, drink anything, and not stay up at night panicking about the damage they don't feel that they are doing to their bodies. 

There is always a silver lining, or a rainbow after a storm (a good omen, as my crazy host mom would say). This is an opportunity to learn from myself. Learn how to bounce back after this and get back to feeling my best- without punishing myself with over-restriction. That is the goal this week as I begin my adventure into student teaching: get back to feeling like myself again- the happy me who isn't consumed with regret for my consumption.

Here's to moving on in a healthy way.
~ Rach


  1. I could not agree more with this post. I am having the same issues at the moment being on Easter break - I've eaten an insane amount of carbs the last few days and terribly bad food, and I've had such a busy and stressful week I have done practically no exercise. I know I will indulge this weekend and for three days next week with my family and I am so worried about it. Then I worry that I am worrying about my food. It's a cycle. I'm glad I am not alone in this, and I think we will both be fine if we just work a little harder the week after. Your blog is beautiful, and I'm sorry that my first comment on here was on this topic. But judging from the photo of your legs and feet, you have nothing to worry about. x

    1. Thank you so much for the support! It's always nice to know that there is someone out there who understands how I am feeling. When I am surrounded by all my friends, I can feel so alone sometimes because they don't get the worry/guilt cycle that I am obsessing over in my head. Things definitely feel better after a few days back into my normal routine. I'm glad we're in this together!